January 31, 2011


You know that country song

If not, you should go take a listen.
I heard it today
and i might have totally burst into tears
and this one I'm not even blaming on pregnancy.
it was legit.
You know the cry that comes from deep inside that's been building for a while...
and when it comes out you're embarrassed that such a sound is coming from you?
it was that kind.

(i'm not typically the country listnen' kind
...but today it was more fitting than this,
you know you've got beiber fever, don't lie.)
(ps... last week, before bed rest set in, Zay, King, Pearl, and I had a rockin' dance party in the kitchen to that little number. It was rad.)

back to the issue(s) at hand.
Last week was a real doozie.
Here's the run down.

To preface:
Seth started his new position at Merrill Lynch full time
which meant big change in hours.
I was put on bed rest till this little loverly is born
(hoping to avoid any NICU time, she'd be fine if she were born now but I would really prefer to avoid the NICU if at all possible,
hence, bed rest and lot's of shots.)
Zay has a really bad cavity that's been keeping him up at night.
(curse those sippy cups)

Sat night zay baby came to our bed breathing really heavily,and coughing, which sounded more like a dog barking,
'mom, i'n choking, can't breave'

So, between the cavity and now croup the poor little guy was miserable.

Poor baby is teething.
I mean- bad.
He had 6 molars come in at the same time.
same night.
Fever 102.
also miserable.
and then the next morning he started coughing too.

So Seth-
(he's amazing BTW... just in case you didn't know)
took Zay in and they gave him a steroid to help the croup,
and told us to give it to him for 2 nights,
but no more than 4.
We gave it to him for 4 nights and he was still not better.
Rewind now to monday morning.
Zay had a dentist apt at 7 am.
Seth had work so
My mom-
(AKA my saving angel)
came at 6 am monday morning to take Zay to get his tooth fixed.
They sent him home without fixing it cause he was too sick.
can we catch a break?

The next day was scary.

Zay was lethargic.
non responsive
wouldn't eat,
or even drink
and held his tooth constantly.
with a fever of 103.
(and yes dode was still fevering and coughing.)

My mom held down the fort til' Seth came home and he took them both to the pediatrician to see what was happening.

Zay's had turned into pneumonia,
Dode had RSV.
they both had ear infectionS.
(that's enough to make you feel like the world's worst mother)
I was stuck at home in bed.

Dr. said the tooth was probably causing most of Zay's pain.
So Seth went to the Dentist right after.
It was REALLY infected.
They pulled his tooth.
he's two people-
Numbed him up,
and ripped it out.

Poor Kid.
the second the tooth was out he started feeling better.
SO the boys are on the mend.

the car broke down.
You know,
the one that will actually fit our whole family?
that one.

It's been a lot to take in.
(told you the tears i was talking about that might be falling again right now were/are legit.)

I hate sitting here feeling SO helpless while all of this is happening.
I couldn't be there with my babies when they were so sick and it hurt.
For those that know me,
you know I'm not the kind that likes to sit and watch other people care for my kids and clean my house.
It sucks.
I am SOO thankful for the help.
I don't know what I would have done with out all of the wonderful people that have made this last week and the next couple
my grandma(s)
levi (little bro in law missed school for a day to come help)
ward members
and last,
most importantly-
my mom.
She's my hero.
She lives to make others' lives easier.
especially mine.
She's my best friend.
I would die without her.

It's funny how weeks like this make you turn inward, and upward.
You find out what you're made of.
and then realize it's all part of the plan.
All part of this wonderful little thing called life.
I'm so thankful to know that someone above is in control.
He's there.
I know it with every breath I take.
He loves me, and he loves my babies.
He makes it all okay
even if some days I wonder.

It is.
I know it.
it's all going to be okay.

Times like this make me realize how far out of my league i've married.
He's my rock.
I love him.
More than anything.

Our Angel Baby