April 3, 2012

A letter from mommy on your first birthday

My Dear Sweet Sassy and Most Precious Pearl,
It's been a year.
One whole year since you came into my world and changed it forever. It happened so quickly, and yet I feel that i've known your darling spirit forever.
We are kindred spirits, and I knew that the moment I learned you were coming to our family.
I remember reclining comfortably on the exam table,
feeling the cool jelly on my tummy,
anxiously awaiting to hear the gender of this little life inside me. The next words I heard were...
'see that right there?'
to be honest I didn't see what he was talking about, but since I had heard that twice before,
I knew if he saw something, it probably meant you were a little man. I went home.. excited of course for a yummy new baby,
but a little heavy in spirit as my heart needed you.
Fast forward one month, and 89 contractions later.
another ultrasound.
'Well... your chart says you are having a boy,
but this is most definitely a girl.'

I shot straight up.
'Are you sure?'
i nearly begged.
And life has never been the same.
You have taught me a whole new kind of love.
A tender love that I didn't know before you.
I love your brothers-
-ooooh do I love those little stinkers-
but you...
sweet Pearl,
your delicate yet valiant spirit is teaching me daily of a higher love.
And I say we are kindred spirits because I KNOW that we chose each other in the life before.
Sometimes I feel that you should have come first,
and been the one to instruct and teach me,
as i learn so much from you every day.
You're teaching me forgiveness. Instant forgiveness.
That laughing, singing, and dancing really do cure most anything.
To laugh at myself.
That it's okay to fall, as long as I get back up.
That crying gets you most ANYTHING you want from daddy.
That true femininity is a beautiful thing to behold...
you already have a little strut when you walk.
hand in air and hips tossing back and forth--
it is beyond darling.
and of course that pure Christ like love.
You are teaching our family the true meaning of charity.

Your little personality is unmatchable.
You are a dynamite of sweetness.
An angel- not to be reckoned with.
A fountain of sass.
Sweet adorable sass.
You know what you want, and you know how to get it.
I hope that never changes in you.
I hope you always follow your dreams, no matter the obstacle.
and ALWAYS dream big.
You will change the world my darling.
I know it.
I selfishly wish I could bottle you up right now and keep you as my little sidekick forever.
You are at such adorable stage,
but then i'm sure i'll think that at every stage,
as you prepare for baptism,
your first date,
and the day you are married.
it hurts to think about.
I will do my best to let you grow and learn the things that you need to on your own,
but promise me you'll always keep me close?
Resist the urge of pushing me away when I'm still wearing that
'so last season'
Or when I still kiss you goodbye when you're 16.
or come to hold you as you sleep the days before you leave for college. promise?

Pearly Sue, You are definitely a girl after my own heart.
You are happiest with food, make up, shoes, and babies.
You love to clean.
You love to sing.
You LOVE to dance.
You even love shopping...
or maybe you just love being with mommy
...either way is fine with me.
You LOVE playing dress up in mommy's shoes and jewelry.
and we are most alike in that you absolutely ADORE your daddy.
I mean truly, we are a match made in heaven.

I know that right now you are beginning to lose the precious memories of that Heavenly home that you knew before coming to us.
I know that He misses you,
but I know He watches over you.
Miss Pearl,
I promise that if you will live your life in a way that I will do my best to teach you,
you will ALWAYS feel of His love and presence around you.
He will guide your steps. He will carry you when you're tired.
He will never be further away than a prayer, and He does answer prayers.
You, darling are evidence of that.
I hope you will always delight in talking to your Heavenly Father.
I hope you always have the light and thirst for knowledge that you do now.
You LOVE to learn, and I love watching your your eyes light up with curiosity for the world around you.
Some things to remember:
1. You are a child of Deity.
A princess.
You have a father that is a Heavenly King and
He loves you.
2. Read the Book of Mormon DAILY.
There is power in that book and you will become untouchable to the adversary by reading it.
3. Motherhood is the highest and most noble calling you will have in this life.
and you will be a GREAT little mommy.
4. I am not perfect...
(i know you're thinking, 'really mom... you're just realizing this?')
and we may have our differences
but I will ALWAYS love you.

5. You're brothers may be stinky, wild, rambunctious, and sometimes naughty.
they adore you.
They will be, next to your daddy and I,
your strongest advocate,
fiercest protectors,
and closest friends.

and last but definitely not least

6. You are beautiful.
and although I am majorly biased,
I KNOW this is true because I can hardly leave the house without being bombarded by people telling me so.
always make your inner beauty as striking as your outer.
I know you will.

I love you sugar baby-
with every heartbeat,


Our Angel Baby